Escape the Land of the Way Things Ought to Be
If you find yourself feeling angry with your customers and employees because they aren’t behaving the way you think they should, you need to take a long hard look at why. And if you need help finding the problem, I’ll give you a clue. You’ll find it in the mirror.
As a business owner, you likely have a vision of a great company. You know what you want. That‘s a good thing. The troubling part is when you have an opinion of how other people should view things. What am I talking about? Well, here is an example: It’s okay to expect your call taker to use the script you trained them on. That’s their job, and it is clearly defined for them.
However, it is fruitless to be upset with call takers when they answer the phone differently than you would have. They might think that they are respecting the client’s time by rushing them off the phone, and you think it’s best to keep them on the phone by asking a lot of questions so you can serve them better. The reality is that while one way is more profitable, they are both right, from their own perspectives.
Business owners often confuse, “How I want my business to run” with “the way things ought to be.” This leads to much frustration because we hire people to work in our businesses, and we train them on how the systems run the business. That is the road to the “Land of How I Want My Business to Run.” Stay on this road.
The road I recommend you stay off is a dark path through dying woods to a miserable place. The people in the “Land of the Way Things Ought to Be” believe everyone should think and behave as they do. This is a far different mindset then those living in the “Land of How I Want My Business to Run.”
In the “Land of How I Want My Business to Run,” you can implement systems to run the business. By training your people on how to run those systems, you will eventually become the beloved King of a new and grander land, a land of inner peace. It is called the “Land of the Way Things Really Are.” If you continue to live in the “Land of the Way Things Ought to Be,” you will find that your subjects have either moved away or they have taken over the land and left you with just a swamp to tend.
I see it all around me. I have family members and close friends that get sideways over things over which they have no control. They think there is only one right way, and they happen to be the only ones who get it. They sit in disbelief that their dinner order came out wrong or that a stranger accidently bumped into them. After making a big issue over something that was not intentional or is reversible, they say to the people around them, “Can you believe that?”
Allowing these things to frustrate you makes you snappy, rude, and no fun to be around. I used to live in the “Land of Way Things Ought to Be” with them but through a journey of many motivational and leadership books and tapes, I stopped the train and hopped off in the “Land of the Way it Really Is.”
In my new land, we smile a lot and pity the poor souls from the “Land of the Way it Ought to Be.” We find joy taking vacations to the “Land of the Way it Used to Be,” and we are careful to avoid the “Land of the Way it Might Have Been.” For we know that the greatest days in our life is when we are on our journey through the “Land of the Way it Used to Be.” And our most miserable days are always spent in the “Land of What Might Have Been.”
I know I am sounding philosophical, and I hope my message is not diluted by it. So, let me emphasize my point as bluntly, as I can. If you get upset at things you cannot control, learn to get over it. There is nothing you can do about it so don’t focus on it. What is done is done. Set your mental energies and physical efforts on things you can influence. This is the road to inner peace as a successful business owner.